New Years Resolutions - 2008 E-mail

WHEN LIFE GIVES YOU SNOW, MAKE SNOW ANGELS

It’s that time of year again.—My third annual New Year’s column with helpful hints from my good friend, Buffalo Grove resident Dr. Deborah H. Stern, a clinical psychologist practicing at PRA Behavioral, which has offices in Vernon Hills, Schaumburg and Crystal Lake.


Before speaking with Stern, I assessed how well I did with my resolutions from last year’s column. (We were supposed to make smaller, more attainable goals and reflect on them throughout the year.) My goals were to get more pedicures, dine at the Cheesecake Factory more often and shop at Macy’s as many times as it took to recover from the closing of Marshall Fields. Well, I am proud to say that I met all of my goals many times over and I am definitely an improved human being for all of my efforts.

Now, for this New Year, Dr. Stern is focusing on something a little different. First, “let’s try to focus on a general resolution of approaching the year with a positive perspective,” says Stern. “It’s basically a resolution for the top of your resolution list.”

People often make many resolutions but Dr. Stern says that “this ‘positive perspective’ plan is really taking a step back and looking at everything as a whole—this is more of a perspective enhancement instead of focusing on how many times you’re going to the gym per week.”

Dr. Stern shared a personal story about how she decided to approach the year with a positive perspective. “When we had that big snow, so many people dreaded the inconvenience or felt burdened by it somehow,” says Stern. “I noticed my son racing to get his snowsuit on and get to the bus stop early so he could frolic in the snow and make snow angels. I watched my son and thought, ‘Gosh, when life gives you snow, make snow angels.’ Obviously, as adults, things can get stressful and bog us down but this year let’s try to enjoy more of what life has to offer and try to resolve to see the positive angle of life’s situations.”

The other idea that Dr. Stern had was to start each day and end each day with three “gratitudes”—meaning three things for which you’re grateful. This can be done by acknowledging the things to yourself or to someone else.

“This might be something fun to do at the breakfast or dinner table or at bedtime with your family,” says Stern. “You can never start too young in appreciating life and having a positive perspective.”

“The idea is that if you can try to maintain a positive view, it will make the harder things in life more manageable,” says Dr. Stern. “No one can deny life’s difficulties but striving for positivity and a gratuitous perspective can improve the perceived quality of your life.”

Coincidentally, I got to try out Dr. Stern’s “positive perspective” approach last Sunday. The weather was cold and snowy and it was one of those laid-back days where I was planning on staying indoors and in my pajamas the entire time. Our fireplace was aglow and I sat in front of it reading my US magazine. During a break from my laziness, I decided to address our holiday cards by using our ridiculously complicated mail merge on our computer.

As I was putting our envelopes through the printer I noticed we were running low on the envelopes. How could that be? Half of the list still needed to be printed so I counted what we had left. Oh, my gosh—we were shorted 54 envelopes! It wasn’t like I was five short and could use some non-matching envelopes from home. I was fuming when I realized it meant I would have to actually change from my fluffy, pink slippers to my clunky, old boots and trudge out to the store.

Before I left, I sat myself down to think. I could either let it ruin my day or I could move on. I decided to move on and it actually felt good to get outside and feel the cold air on my face. I also felt rather foolish to have gotten so angry over something so trivial. I mean, in the big scheme of things, this was definitely NOT a big deal.

I picked up the envelopes and then went to the grocery store where I bought every possible Mexican-cuisine item and cooked a gourmet (well, gourmet for me) meal of tacos that evening. Everyone thought they were delicious! I successfully finished my envelopes, which I will always count right away from now on and I put my fluffy, pink slippers back on my feet.

And while I am already truly lucky to have a naturally positive attitude, it’s nice to remind oneself about positive perspectives in crazy situations. I am also really going to try to acknowledge three things for which I’m grateful once or twice per day. In fact, here are all six of mine for today: I am very grateful for: My family, my friends, the loyal readers of this column, laughter, TIVO and M&M’s (all varieties). Have a fabulous and healthy new year, everyone! Love, Susan Dubin ( This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it .)