The other day, I was patiently waiting for a parking spot to open up at a local mall. It was obvious to everyone in the world that I was about to take the totally incredible space from the people backing up.— My turn signal was on and I had that calm-yet-focused glisten in my eye that one gets before pulling into a great parking spot.

All of the sudden, a car comes honking out of nowhere and zooms into my parking space. I couldn’t believe it.

When the parking-spot thief got out of his car he showed no remorse whatsoever. He didn’t even glance in my direction to see the evil stare I gave him for taking my beloved spot. I begrudgingly drove down another aisle where I encountered people arguing over another spot that wasn’t even that fabulous. Yikes.

After eventually parking in some weird “holiday lot,” I finally went into the mall. Once inside, it was as if every crabby person in Illinois decided to go shopping at the same time. And waiting in long holiday lines with those people was definitely not fun. I felt so sorry for every employee because no one had anything but complaints once they got to the front of the line. What happened to the holiday spirit that everyone’s supposed to have at this time of year? Not only did all of these people need a dose of parking lot etiquette and long-line manners, they also needed to relax a bit.

I spoke with two ideal people about these situations—a psychologist and a police officer. Regarding parking lot altercations, “Think before acting,” says Buffalo Grove resident, Dr. Heidi Shikora, Licensed Clinical Psychologist, in private practice in Wilmette. “Your first thought may be to react angrily. Remind yourself why that might not be the best choice. It could escalate into a dangerous situation or it could just aggravate you and ruin your day. You can also apply humor to the situation in your own mind. Say to yourself, ‘It could be worse…I could be in a Seinfeld situation: wandering aimlessly through a parking lot looking for my lost car.’”

Pete Lippert, Crime Prevention Specialist for the Buffalo Grove Police Department says, “There isn’t a whole lot you can do to eliminate aggressive drivers or road rage so avoidance is the best thing you can do. If someone takes your spot, move on because some people can get really mean.”

“If someone confronts you walk away,” says Lippert. “If they persist, look for security or a police officer to help you out. If someone hits your car or threatens you in any way to the point where you’re in fear of your safety call the police but first and foremost, get the license plate number. Also, don’t ever confront anyone on your own.”

Furthermore, “Don’t be in a hurry,” says Lippert. “Most people that get involved in road rage are in a hurry, running out of time or just having a bad day. Schedule your day so if you need to park in the back you have plenty of time. And don’t go out driving at all if you’re mad or upset. I realize that might be hard but it’s important.”

What about all those people on cell phones while trying to park? “You’ve got a heavy automobile under your control and if you’re on the phone you can’t concentrate on driving,” says Lippert. “With the added heavy traffic during the holidays, you need to put all your attention into driving and not talking on the phone. If you need to talk on the phone pull over. People are walking through these lots, too, and if you’re on the phone you can’t be watching for pedestrians.”

And as for those dreaded long lines in the stores, “Plan ahead and allow yourself plenty of waiting time in order to reduce the chance of increased stress,” says Dr. Shikora. “If you need to be picking up your child in ten minutes you don’t want to be standing in line looking at your watch getting stressed out. Next, if you are standing in a long line, focus on the positive. Think about why you’re out shopping and what you like about the holidays instead of focusing on the long wait.”

“Also, keep it in perspective,” says Dr. Shikora. “If you’re in line longer than you’d like, it won’t really make that big of a difference in your entire day—that is if you allow enough time beforehand. Last, maintain balance in your life to reduce your overall stress level. When you make time to relax, you will be less stressed in those kinds of circumstances.”

In addition, Dr. Shikora has a few suggestions for keeping your cool during stressful situations: “Take slow deep breaths, count to 10 slowly and again, apply humor. And to reduce overall stress, make time for yourself, pamper yourself, exercise, spend time with loved ones or do a favorite activity or hobby.”

Finally, Pete Lippert says, “Stay off the phone in parking lots, be vigilant because of pedestrians, people backing out, etc. and drive slow. And when you’re walking through a parking lot, don’t walk with packages in front of your face. You want to make sure you can see clearly without something blocking your vision. And lastly, don’t drink and drive. That’s the number one issue over the holidays. It starts with Halloween and ends with New Years. All of the local police departments will have extra patrols for DUI enforcement.”

Well, I hope we all take the advice of Dr. Heidi Shikora and Crime Prevention Specialist Pete Lippert during this holiday season and beyond. Do you have suggestions for future topics? If so, please email me at This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it . Happy shopping!

© 2007 Susan Dubin, Buffalo Grove, Illinois