A few weeks ago, my husband, Bill, said something that was so horrible I burst into tears and ran out of the room. It was something like, “Hey, honey, let’s plan our camping trip.”

Isn’t that just awful? Why in the world would he want to go camping with me? I don’t even want to go camping with me. I’m as outdoorsy as The Boy in the Plastic Bubble, but sure enough I happened to be married to Paul Bunyan.

You see, years ago I had promised Bill that when our son, Andrew, turned five we would start taking family camping trips. I don’t know what I was thinking at the time but when Andrew was three months old that promise of a camping trip seemed extremely far away. And now, here it is. Andrew will be five years old this summer.

Now don’t get me wrong. I have nothing against the outdoors; it’s just that I prefer to be indoors. At all times. In fact, my idea of a nature hike is walking briskly on my treadmill where I can look around and see a wilted house-plant, an occasional fly and the show “Planet Earth” on the Discovery Channel.

Actually, I have been camping a few times. I am proud to say that I am excellent at making S’mores and I can sing a mean version of “This Land is Your Land” around the campfire. Who needs more than that?

Anyway, with the dreaded camping trip looming in the near future I did what anyone in my position would do— I convinced a bunch of my friends and their families to join us on the whole “family camping trip” thing.

At first, some of my friends thought I was kidding. “You? Camping?” is pretty much what I heard. I informed them all that I was, indeed, going camping and that because I want to make this a fabulous experience for Andrew I will try not to freak out about scary bugs, wild animals, swarms of mosquitoes, flying bats, high humidity, dangerous foliage and dirty outhouses. Wish me luck.

At any rate, the 7 families going on our camping trip originally scheduled the trip for late June but we changed the date due to the lovely 17-year cicadas and/or their carcasses. Naturally, Paul Bunyan thought the cicada situation would make the trip even more fun, but he was outvoted. Instead we will be going in late August.

Until the trip, I will be shopping for the perfect, cute camping attire and making up a list of snacks to bring. I will, of course, give you an update after the August adventure.

By the way, for those now inspired to get their own camping group together, Bill recommends the following boring websites for more information on camping and frivolous camping gear: Illinois Department of Natural Resources at www.dnr.state.il.us, Wisconsin Department of Natural Resources at www.dnr.state.wi.us, Cabelas at www.cabelas.com, Bass Pro Shops at www.basspro.com, Campmor at www.campmor.com, and Coleman at www.coleman.com.

“People should also remember to bring a first aid kit when camping,” says Bill. “The one time I forgot, I ended up needing a bandage for a cut on my hand and had to cover it up with my shirt.”

Do you have any “family camping” tips or camping anecdotes? If so, please email me at This e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it to be included in an upcoming column. Also, if you have any great cicada stories over the next 2 months, please email me as well. Thanks!

© 2007 Susan Dubin, Buffalo Grove, Illinois